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Thread: A Thread For Jokes.

  1. #11
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    Apr 2009
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    What's the biggest difference between men and women?
    What they mean, when they say: "I got through a whole box of tissues watching that film."

  2. #12
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    I think my neighbour is growing some vegetables in his car.
    He's been sat in there with the hosepipe for hours now.

    I have a dream: a dream that, one day, chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned.

    I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.

    I used to be in a band called 'Missing Cat'.
    You probably saw our posters.

  3. #13
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    I phoned the emergency services and asked for the police the other day and said 'I need help - there are two girls fighting over me'. The police asked me if there was an emergency. 'Damned right' I said - 'the fat one is winning'.
    Last edited by pinger; 08-01-2013 at 01:49 AM.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
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    Manchester
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    Masked robbers were at a bank when one of the robbers mask fell down.He quickly put it back over his face,and said to a customer in the bank did you see my face? The customer said yes,and the robber shot him BANG. He said to another customer did you see my face?and that customer said yes,and BANG he shot him as well. He asked another customer did you see my face,and the customer said NO but my wife did!!

  5. #15
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    Two Essex blondes, one said to the other`Wots further, the moon or Florida?` the other blonde replies`Hello....can you see Florida....? `

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
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    Over at TR.n
    Posts
    275
    A man goes to see his doctor, 'Doctor, I think I'm turning into a moth!'

    'I'm sorry', says the doctor, 'I'm a GP, you need to see a specialist, there's a psychiatrist at the end of this street'

    'I know that' says the man, 'But your light was on!'

  7. #17
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    Mar 2011
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    Have you been shopping in Lidl lately?
    If not get down there and try the meatballs.

    Apparently they're the dogs bolloks!!!

  8. #18
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    Based on statistics, the most common sexual position amongst married couples is Doggy Style. This is where the husband sits and begs, whilst the wife rolls over and plays dead.

  9. #19
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    A man, whilst out walking had unfortunately fallen into a sewer, and although he couldn't swim, was seen to be going through the motions.....

  10. #20
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    Apr 2009
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    One for Daily Wail readers....


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